(I'll be) Walking on the Land

I just got offered a job up north.
In a couple months.
To celebrate my employability, I will now drink beer and play pool.

Things to do in Dufferin Grove

There are a number of tasks to complete before I move away:

1) Change the letters on the Dovercourt Baptist Church sign to read "Dufferin Grove is the centre of the universe."
2) Get the old lady at the cornerstore to autograph her photo in my Tasting Diversity cookbook.
3) Have sex in the park.
4) Make something besides veggie dogs on a park cooking fire.
5) Guerilla garden behind the mall with seed bombs in biodegradable balloons.
6) Invite Gord Perks (aka the Green Jesus) to a slow food potluck party.
7) Get drunk and go skating in my favourite purple ball gown.
8) Make a midnight mural on the construction hoarding around the Gladstone Library.
9) Drink at the Matador (says Neiland).

Totally unrelated: Friday

The Mermen played at The Horseshoe. A metal band spit beer on them until security came, and Daizy headbanged until she got whiplash.

Saturday's proof: God is green in Dufferin Grove

Thus, therefore, Dufferin Grove is the centre of the universe.

Annexians for Dufferin Grove

This morning's Annex Gleaner editorial, which obviously includes a shout out to Dufferin Grove.

Green fields

There is a tiny, feisty agrarian in the hearts of many in the downtown core.

We covet our scratchy bits of local earth, from the tiny overcrowded parkettes to the diamonds at Christie Pits. We screen films, throw parties, play ball, and walk the dog in them. We escape to sunbathe, toboggan, and garden in them.

And when these uses clash, we engage each other in lengthy discussions over how to share and shape them.

The majority of our local residents’ associations have some type of subset parks committee. The groups handle issues ranging from mundane complaints over maintenance to the highly charged (often related to off-leash policies, it seems). They also act as conduits for the community during public consultations and while negotiating for funds from developers.

Unfortunately, there’s no literal spell for the transformation of molehills into mountains, and we’ve run out of dirt. The general consensus is that swathes of the greater Annex area are simply starved for accessible parks and outdoor facilities. (Remember the Robert Street Rink?)

Perhaps the dregs of winter, when farmers mend their gear and gardeners plan their crops, are the time to turn our unified (rather than block-specific) attention to the task of finding creative solutions to our space issues.

Some our westerly neighbours at Dufferin Grove Park performed a reverse miracle in their own neck of the woods some years ago. While rich in green space, The Friends of Dufferin Grove felt its neighbourhood lacked a community centre. With a minor putsch and a few well-aimed shoves, it transformed the park’s Zamboni garage into a much-needed community centre. (The composting toilet is another story.)

Ward 20, Trinity-Spadina’s councillor, Adam Vaughan, has himself touted the possibility of flipping some of our ugly, concrete parking lots underground, while turning the newly available crust into park space. An expensive proposition, but not entirely out of the question when will (and Section 37 funds) are present. The parking lots just south of Bloor Street West between Brunswick Street and Borden Avenue might fit that bill.

We are spoiled by our beautiful heritage architecture, thriving independent business community, and access to public transit and other urban amenities. Now we just need few more places to escape from it.

Monday's proof: the best cheap date

The centre of the universe needs a new marketing strategy. Its charm is one of the city's best kept secrets. Case in point: did you know Dufferin Grove is the best cheap date venue in the city? For example:

WINTER DATE
Skating: free
Skate rental: $2
Hot chocolate around an open fire (on Thursdays and Sundays): $1.50
Bailey's to spike it with (in a sneaky way): $7.95
Romance and bliss: priceless

Thus, therefore, Dufferin Grove is the centre of the universe.

Note: Kate Nova would have posted this proof last week, but she realized it was Valentine's Day and it would have been lame.

PSA: Mapping the universe

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Dufferin Grove even better on paper

Karbran Cartography Ltd. is pleased to announce its most ambitious project to date: a map of the centre of the universe.

The detailed diagram, which spans a half dozen city blocks and four sheets of newsprint, should be complete in the next three weeks.

"This is a once-on-a-lifetime chance, and a big responsibility," said Kate Nova, co-founder of Karbran Cartography and a Dufferin Grove resident. "I am confident that our document won't leave out a single thing - from Nazareth to Nova Era, the Gnomes to the rinkhouse."

For media inquiries, please contact Kate Nova.

Karbran's cartographers:

Saturday's proof: I am not alone

Not only is Dufferin Grove the centre of the universe, it also is quickly becoming the blog capital of Canada.

The Globe and Mail is catching on to the cosmic superiority of my neighbourhood, and today's Toronto section included a big feature on Jutta Mason's Rink Diaries blog. It relates the day-to-day dramas around the rinkhouse.

For those of you who don't know, Jutta is our ruler here in Dufferin Grove. She is everywhere, and records her omniscient observations online.

If I work really hard, maybe my blog can be as cool as Jutta's.

Thus, therefore, Dufferin Grove is the centre of the universe.

Thursday's proof

Today's offering proves not only that Dufferin Grove is the centre of the universe, but also that I have a job, and have found a way to constructively obsess over my neighbourhood at the office.

This month's fresh and corny Village Gleaner editorial:

Keep the home fires burning

If you’ve never spent an evening around an open flame in the heart of the city, then you’ve missed one of the most unexpected joys of Toronto’s parks system.

Like our cavemen ancestors, we derive primal pleasure in greeting our neighbours while the flames warm our knees, and even the most cynical child will admit that chow cooked over a metal grate beats fast food any day.

Here in the west end, residents have enjoyed small cooking fires in a number of parks, including Humber Bay (East and West), for a nominal permitting fee. School outings, community groups, and family reunions all have made use of this special activity, and their added happy presence in our green spaces kept our parks safe.

While not as developed in the High Park area as it is amongst our slightly easterly neighbours, many see the cooking fire program as an inexpensive, wholesome route to turning neighbourhoods into communities. So it came as a shock to many when, in late January, Toronto’s parks, forestry, and recreation department suspended cooking fire permits until further notice.

The cancellation put a damper on a number group outings, including birthday parties and a Toronto Community Housing youth event. It also incurred the well-organized wrath of a nearby community group, The Friends of Dufferin Grove, who barraged the city with correspondence over the demise of the program.

While many residents have booked fire permits for private events, Dufferin Grove Park also has hosted countless cooking fire activities for the whole community during market days, Friday night suppers, and skating parties.

Luckily, we’ve come a long way since the discovery of fire, and rather than reinventing the wheel, the city wisely chose to return to the source.

According to Sandy Straw, manager of parks, forestry, and recreation for the Toronto East York District, the city currently is working to synchronize citywide permitting and safety procedures with Toronto Fire Services. More importantly, it is doing so with members of the Dufferin Grove group responsible for developing the cooking fire program into the success it has become.

“Parks, forestry, and recreation really supports the whole cooking fire program and the value it brings to community-building,” Straw said.

If the city can work together with these neighbouring groups, than so can we. We propose a campfire cookout, as soon as the snows melt, to break bannock with our active neighbours and bring these programs into full effect in some of our larger west end parks.

Perhaps this summer the vendors of the High Park Organic Food Market could offer campfire cooking lessons with their fresh produce?

The lesson:

(a)Even community news editors believe that everyone should strive to emulate Dufferin Grove's community-building initiatives.
(b) The Friends of Dufferin Grove managed to wear down the city once again.

Thus, therefore, Dufferin Grove is the centre of the universe.

Wednesday's proof

Like a modern Mount Sinai, the church on the northwest corner of Bloor and Dufferin streets skips Middleman Moses to regularly offer wisdom for the ages upon its plexiglass tablets.

Past gems include "Da Vinci Code: Know da facts before you watch da movie," and "If you pray for Toronto, this city has a prayer."

Only in a very special neighbourhood would god institute such an inclusive dissemination system in such a classy font.

Thus, therefore, Dufferin Grove is the centre of the universe.

Candlepins and moonlight

Today I stray from my usual mandate (proving the ultimate cosmic superiority of Dufferin Grove) to talk about something else I learned about this weekend: the difference between candlepin bowling (which rules) and Upper Canadian bowling (which drools).

While in Kingston visiting my hot boyfriend, I went ten-pin bowling. I bowled a score of 61 on the first game, and 121 on the second. I lost, obviously. And that makes me sad. But you Upper Canadians play it weird. Your balls are big, but they have holes in 'em, and your pins are shaped like women.

You see, up until that fateful night, only one kind of bowling ever existed for me: candlepin.

Legend has it that my folks met in a bowling alley. My dad likes bowling; my mom was an occasional "alley rat." Love ensued. I am its product.

As a kid, I went bowling on school recreation days and for birthday parties. For a brief time in my early teens, I too bowled and smoked cigarettes at the storied "Alleys" of my parent's youth. My dad is even captain of a bowling team in Antigonish.

All of this bowling was what I now know is referred to as candlepin.

According to wikipedia, "The main differences between candlepin bowling and the predominant ten-pin bowling style are that each player uses three balls per frame, the balls are much smaller (4.5" diameter) and do not have holes, the fallen pins (known as 'wood') are not cleared away between balls during a player's turn, and the pins are thinner, and thus harder to knock down."

More importantly, according to candlepinbowling.com, "The sport of Candlepins is a bowling game unique to New England and the Canadian maritime Provinces. First played in Worcester Massachusetts in 1880, Candlepin Bowling is an exciting skillful sport, requiring minimal physical strength while demanding great timing, dexterity and patience from each participant. Candlepin bowling is enjoyed by the young and old, the strong and the handicapped, by boys and girls, men and women...It is indeed a sport for all people."

With that beautiful, inclusive, mandate, who wouldn't prefer candlepin bowling?

If you're interested in pursuing this sport even further, please check out East Coast Candlepin or Nova Scotia Candlepin.

image ripped off of kinglanes

Tuesday's proof

Today's proof comes to you via my roommate Alison, who said:

"Dufferin Grove is the centre of the universe. Where else in the world can you buy, at any time of the day, wholesome snacks from really cute granola-guys?"

For those of you not in the know, Alison is referring to the preponderence of slightly shaggy, slightly hippy, parks employees in Dufferin Grove. The City of Toronto employs 12 parkspeople to upkeep the centre of the universe. I have not yet determined the exact percentage of cute granolas, but I likely will in the future. Males can be identified by their rubber boots, plaid shirt-jackets, and semi-regular growths of facial hair. Females can also be identified by their rubber boots, long hair, and slightly beatific smiles.

The snacks she is referring to come from the Zamboni Cafe, which offers steamy bowls of vegan chili ($2), mini pizzas ($0.75), and bread straight from the bake ovens. (Note: the picture attached to this link does not illustrate the hotness of the park staff.)

Thus, therefore, Dufferin Grove is the centre of the universe.

Friday's proof

Dufferin Grove recently has made the news for a number of controversial topics, including but not restricted to:

Icycle racing (New York Times!)
Breastfeeding in public
Wireless internet
Sloan (who apparently hang out at the rinkhouse)
Zero-garbage people


Thus, therefore, Dufferin Grove is the centre of the universe.

Missing: Antigonish boy

Actually, that's a little inaccurate. He's from Stewiacke.

Regardless, if you see this man in Halifax, please tell him he left his heart in Dufferin Grove.

Mr. Hamilton, please come home. I'll give you wine in a plastic cup by the main fire pit.

If the headline's familiar, it's because I ripped it off an art project that circulated around Toronto circa 2001. (You may remember it from such hallowed milieux as Sneaky Dee's washrooms.)

Cold, cold day in Dufferin Grove

The Dufferin Grove hippies were in mourning today at the market, and so am I: the City of Toronto has revoked all campfire permits indefinitely.
Today the toasty firepit at the rinkhouse was mocked-up with coloured tissue paper for the occasion, and people stood around it looking sad.
I have faith that the local guerilla army, aka the Friends of Dufferin Grove, will do something about it. Here's all the details of their actions so far.
And here's the number for Toronto Parks' general information line, in case you want to badger them yourself: 416-392-1111.

Thursday's proof

No more meaningless drivel. No more pining for greater reason. Somewhere between the breakfast muesli and avocado aisles at No Frills, I experienced an epiphany:

I must prove Dufferin Grove is the centre of the universe.

With no further ado, I begin with THURSDAY'S PROOF:


Yesterday afternoon, the fates conspired to refract the sun off the surface of a wilting helium balloon into the perfect form of a nebula in my hallway. Obviously this would not be possible anywhere outside the cynosure of life as we know it.
Thus, therefore, Dufferin Grove is the centre of the universe.
Now, to the market.